Breakdown
by birthdaycake-storytime-fall
Summary: This story follows from the episode aired on 03/07/16 and shows Rita's reaction and decisions based on events from the episode after everyone appears to have abandoned her. This is a Rita-centered story, with Dylan being heavily involved (From chapter 3/4). Trigger warning: Suicide attempt DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

As she sat in her cold, empty house alone Iain's words rang in her ears like repetitive chants from bullies, although they were much louder. _Pathetic. Insane. Get some help. Stay away from me. Pathetic. Insane. Pathetic. Insane. Get some help. Stay away from me._

He had seen her legs and her hips, both littered with scars, numerous times – he knew she was ill. Some of the scars were much older, but some were recent – and Rita had added some more to her left hip since Iain broke up with her. He knew how bad she had gotten in the past – and he had the indecency to call her insane.

 _Get some help._ She had tried to get help in the past, but with the NHS being so overrun she was told that she'd be alright; exercise, talk to your friends, and take time out of your day to de-stress yourself were what the GP had told her. She did exercise; it didn't help. Now she had no friends. And to think that Rita ever had time to take a break was stupid; she was always busy.

 _Stay away from me._ All she had ever wanted was to be closer to him. Now she was alone – completely alone. In a matter of a week she had lost Iain, Louise, Robyn, Noel, and every other person at the ED. Most people that Rita had been friends with before she worked at Holby abandoned her either when they found out that her husband was a pedophile or when she was taken into a psychiatric hospital following Mark's arrest.

Rita hadn't drunk any alcohol in ages, since Ash had stopped her, but she knew that no-one was going to visit today and stop her from passing out on the living room floor. Rita had somehow survived this week sober, but that was about to end.

Rita took £45 out of her purse, knowing she could buy exactly 3 bottles of Vodka with that money, and walked to the corner shop at the end of her street.

* * *

By the time Rita was half way through her second bottle of Vodka she was questioning why she was doing this. Not the drinking, but the living. With no friends, no family, and no-one who loved her there wasn't a reason to live anymore. Rita had seen the hostile reception that Elle had been met with, and she was only trying to do the right thing, and she couldn't imagine how harshly she would have been treated if she went into work again. She saw no reason to bother.

The thought suddenly hit Rita to kill herself.

It terrified her, but she knew that she had no other choice.

* * *

After finishing the Vodka that she had bought that evening and finding a belt that she would be able to use to hang herself with he knew it was too late. She couldn't change her mind now – and she didn't want to.

* * *

Ellie, Rita's younger sister, decided to visit Rita that same evening, although she hadn't told Rita because she wanted it to be a surprise. Ellie and Rita usually saw each other once a week, or sometimes more often, but Rita had been so pre-occupied recently that it had been nearly 2 weeks since the pair had seen each other.

When Ellie arrived at Rita's house she knocked hard on the door, but Rita didn't hear – she was already hanging from her bedroom ceiling. Ellie continued to knock and wait until 10 minutes had passed. Rita was definitely in because the hallway, living room, and bathroom lights were turned on.

Ellie decided to pull the door handle down and found that the door was unlocked, which was unusual for Rita, but she walked into the house anyway.

"Rita?" Ellie looking into the dining room/kitchen as well as the living room, although she only found Rita's cat, Oscar.

Venturing upstairs Ellie continued to call her sisters name, checking the bathroom in case Rita had fallen asleep whilst having a bath after a long shift at the hospital. The only other room that Ellie hadn't checked for her sister was the bedroom.

Ellie was in two minds about checking the bedroom, thinking that Rita may have been too tired to turn off the lights, or she had forgotten, and that she was now asleep in bed. Ellie didn't want to disturb Rita, especially if she was asleep, because she knew how difficult and tiring being a nurse was for Rita, but she finally decided to quietly open the door slightly to check.

Luckily the door didn't make a noise as it was opened so Ellie was able to silently look into the room, her breathing the only sound that could be heard throughout the whole house. The bed was empty. But then something caught Ellie's eye.

It was Rita.

 **This story has practically written itself so far – and I'm really proud of it. This past week or so I've actually been proud of what I've written so I hope to keep that going for as long as possible. I'm going away on Thursday until Sunday – to Scotland – so I won't be able to actually upload anything but I hope to be able to write whilst I'm there, especially on the 3 hour train journeys to and from.**

 **Anyone who wants Dylan to be a friend to Rita after her lies and other recent events, this story is for you – Dylan will feature from chapter 3 or 4.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Her vision was blurry, and it felt as though her ears were filled with water, since she could only hear muffled sounds around her.

Rita had just woken up in the psychiatric ward, after being asleep for 8 days following her suicide attempt. But she didn't know where she was.

A nurse, with a name badge that read Jessica, went into to Rita's room to check her stats on the screen beside her bed, which was when Jessica noticed that Rita was beginning to wake up.

"Hello, Rita? Can you hear me?" The nurse gently touched Rita's shoulder as she spoke to her.

The touch was registered by Rita, and she presumed that the owner of the unrecognisable voice was also the person who currently had their hand on her shoulder. The words spoken sounded as though they were playing through low-quality speakers and Rita couldn't make out what was actually being said to her.

"Okay, I'm just going to get a doctor in here sweetie." Jessica finished making notes on Rita's file and went to find a doctor to see to Rita, to ensure that she was alright and to discuss her treatment, as well as the reasons she had being admitted as an inpatient onto the ward, since many patients were often disorientated and some couldn't remember what had led to them being in hospital.

* * *

After the doctor had spoken to Rita she saw, for the first time, how badly she needed help – Iain was right. Due to the suicide attempt, the scars covering her arms, a low blood sugar – pointing to her not eating enough, and the fact that Rita admitted to have been suffering from panic attacks the doctor knew that she would be likely to be spending quite a while in hospital.

If Rita followed the rules and ate all of her meals, as well as the daily snack that the hospital provided, then she was likely to be discharged sooner than if she refused to eat or didn't comply to the rules and regulations set out by the hospital.

Some of the rules Rita was able to understand; no mobile phones (except for certain hours), all patients must attend individual and group therapy sessions when they are told, all patients must eat all of their food and be in the canteen at all times during meal times, and all patients must have daily weigh-ins and daily blood tests.

However, some of the rules seemed stupid; patients are not permitted to have physical contact with other patients, no doors allowed on patients bedrooms, and no soap in bathrooms. Even though Rita understood why the rules were in place, they seemed meaningless.

It was going to be a long few months.

 **Sorry this is short, I kind of used up all of my ideas for this chapter pretty quickly. This isn't going to be a very long story, but I aim to get to maybe 10 chapters – there will be time skips throughout as well.**

 **So sad that Rita has left, especially since I didn't think it would be so soon, but I'm glad that he had a happy ending and received forgiveness from her colleagues.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Rita was upstairs on the psychiatric ward speaking to the doctor who was in charge of the ward.

"So, Rita, what lead you to your suicide attempt? I know that I sound blunt asking it that way, but it's useful for me to know this, for your records." The doctor sat across from Rita in his office, which was considerably smaller than most in the hospital.

"A lot of things, it was a build-up really." Rita answered, before considering the rest of her answer. "It's a very long and complicated story." Then Rita began to tell the doctor, who she was struggling to remember the name of, the full story leading up to her attempting suicide. She explained about Mark, about Iain, about her lies, and about the stress at work she had been under on top of everything else going on.

The doctor nodded and made notes where he deemed appropriate, making as much eye contact with Rita throughout the meeting that she would allow.

After Rita finally finished speaking the doctor looked up at her and smiled. "I understand how much pressure you're under at the moment and everything with your ex-husband and ex-boyfriend all at the same time. You and I will be seeing each other on a one-to-one basis every two days to begin with, but this gradually decreases the longer that you're here and the closer to discharge you get."

Rita nodded to let him know she understood.

"The only exception to these appointments is that I don't work Sundays. We'll see each other Wednesdays, Fridays, and Mondays. I'll put you down at 2pm. Then twice a week, at 11am you will be going to group therapy. This will be Mondays and Thursdays for you." The doctor clearly explained all the rules of the hospital and the times that she would be expected to be in certain places, writing a draft of a schedule for her to keep so that she remembered everything. "And please do come to me, or any nurses on the ward, if you need any help at all."

X

It had been 8 days since Rita had been to work, and the anger at her lies and unexplained absence was quickly turning to fear for her health and her safety, since she definitely wasn't at home.

Dylan was the one person more concerned than most, although he had remained silent throughout Rita's disappearance. He had seen what Iain had said to Rita that evening, so had many other people, but Dylan had also been put down in a similar way by the people he used to love when he was younger, and he knew what damage those kinds of words could do to people.

Although Dylan had never visited Rita before now, he knew where her flat was so he decided to go round and see her, knowing that he hadn't turned against her as everyone else had and that if she was at home, she would be much more likely to answer to him than anyone else.

X

At the end of Dylan's shift he walked towards Rita's flat and as he approached he noticed lights on inside, despite the fact that every single time people had been to see Rita in the past week, they claimed the lights were off.

Dylan was apprehensive but he approached the flat anyway; he had promised to himself that he would at least try to speak to her.

When the door to the flat was opened there was a young woman, younger than Rita but approximately the same height, which opened the door. Her hair was slightly below shoulder-length and was light brown.

"Sorry, I think I have the wrong address." This seemed unlikely to Dylan, since he'd accidentally seen Rita come out of this same door on her way to work a couple of times during his own journey to the hospital. "I'm looking for a college; her name's Rita Freeman."

"Sorry, you're not Iain are you?!" The woman seemed angry at Dylan, all on the presumption that he was someone who he really wasn't.

"No, sorry. I'm Dylan Keogh, I'm a doctor at the emergency department where Rita works…or worked." Dylan was about to turn away when the woman's voice stopped him from doing so.

"Hi. I'm Alice, Rita's younger sister. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. Are you a friend of Rita's?" Alice smiled warmly, now confident that this man was not likely to hurt her or her sister.

"Not really, I really am just a work colleague. She probably won't want to see me anyway, I'm sorry." Dylan turned to leave again, Dervla waiting patiently at the end of the driveway.

"Wait." Alice's voice once again made Dylan turn to face her. "She needs all the friends, or anyone to support her, that she can get at the moment."

X

Alice had invited Dylan and Dervla into the flat to explain the situation to Dylan, hoping to get him to at least visit Rita, in the hopes that it would raise her sister's spirits even slightly.

Alice was going to be temporarily living in Rita's flat, at least until Rita was discharged from hospital, and she would be looking after Rita's cat, Sammy, who Dervla had taken an interest in.

Dylan knew that, even if he was no good at making friends, that he should at least make the effort to visit Rita, since she probably would not want everyone at the ED to know what had happened, and it would give him some human company as well. He agreed with Alice that he would drop by the psychiatric department that next day at the end of his shift to visit Rita.

 **Sorry this is so long overdue and so short, but I just started sixth form and things have been both busy and stressful recently. I'll try to update my fics a little more often from now on, since I am getting more used to being at college, but they may not all be updated weekly.**


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